Two Years

Last Tuesday, August 6 marked the two-year anniversary of our losing Alex.  Thank you to all his friends who called me and supported me over this time.  

I did spend 5 or 6 weeks this spring at our family cabin — and it really IS a cabin — in the redwoods recovering my ability to deal with my fellow human beings after a frustrating emotional roller coaster of a winter supporting Jessica’s appeal and re-sentencing in the face of a justice system that cares more about vengeance and “setting an example” than justice.  

While at the cabin I read all the sympathy cards sent to me at Alex’s passing, thanked each person and tossed each one into the fire.  One morning I had a cigarette, half a glass of wine and an ice cream cone for breakfast.  I stood on the deck looking out into the woods and sobbing, puffing on that cigarette and feeling such regret for Alex and his friends.  Such regret that he had to quit us and his life so soon.  I sat with Alex.  I waltzed with Alex on the wood cabin floor.  I smoked cigarettes with Alex.  We talked by the fire. 

Ironically, I just heard today that Jessica will be released from Chowchilla in mid-August.  What a week, non?  I am delighted to have good news in our lives!  Her mom will drive out from Colorado and pick her up.  She has to stay in Santa Barbara County during her parole.  

This chapter is finally over.  This horrible event that took Alex from us and ended Jessica’s life, as she knew it, is now over. It has been defeated.  We can all look forward now to creating positive outcomes for both Jessica and Alex.  Can’t explain it any better than that.

Love to all,

Susan

Another Way Home Concert this Friday at SoHo

All:I just wanted you to know that Alex’s sister, Heidi, his Aunt Sue Duggan and I are playing in the concert for Alex this Friday night dubbed “Another Way Home” at the SoHo club in Santa Barbara.We are excited to play and to see Alex’s friends again. It’s also Heidi’s birthday, so this is an even more special night for her. Heidi and Sue and I will perform a song I wrote for the occassion called “Stand Up (There’s Another Way Home),” and Heidi will sing “Angel from Montgomery.” We’re hoping to do one more but have to see what time allows. It is also my hope to have the opportunity to talk about Alex a bit and tell a few Alex stories.

The song “Stand Up” was inspired by an experience Heidi had shortly after Alex’s death. She and her friend Kurt were at a party for their floor hockey buddies, and some fellow showed up already somewhat toasted, announcing, “Let’s get wasted!!” which he proceeded to do. When he started to leave, Kurt STOOD UP off the couch and followed the guy outside. He talked him into staying and sobering up a bit. Heidi was upset when he did leave; she felt he may still not have been sober enough to drive legally. But I told her that the really salient act is that Kurt got up off his duff and tried to stop the guy from driving drunk.

This is what inspired my song. This is the kind of responsibility we need to take for one another — for our friends whom we love, and even for those whom we don’t! If someone had told Jessica and Alex that they were going to call the cops on them if they got into the car that night, Alex would still be alive, and Jessica would not be at the women’s facility in Chowchilla, looking out into the yard and trying to seek courage from the roses growing there.Here are the words:
Stand up for your brother,
Stand up for one another.
Stand up there’s another way home.
Stand up for your sister,
Stand up, show you love her.
Stand up, there’s another way home.
Don’t let him walk out that door tonight.
Don’t let him turn his back on you.
He needs you more than he ever has before.
Do everything that you can do. But you’ve got to

Stand up for your brother,
Stand up for one another.
Stand up there’s another way home.
Stand up for your sister,
Stand up, show you love her.
Stand up, there’s another way home.

Tonight she needs you to fight with her,
More than she ever has before.
Stand up and hold her close to you.
Don’t let her on that one-fifty-four. But you’ve got to

Stand up for your brother,
Stand up for one another.
Stand up there’s another way home.
Stand up for your sister,
Stand up, show you love her.
Stand up, there’s another way home.

And, of course, IT ROCKS!!!
Thank you, Kurt, for the inspiration!
See you all at SoHo, Friday the 13th at 9:00 p.m.

Find Another Way Home!

Hi All , It’s Paige.I need your support with an event I’m involved in to raise awareness to the dangers of drinking and driving, and the alternatives to driving after partying.As some of you may know, someone very close to me was killed in a drunk driving accident in Santa Barbara on August 6, 2006. His name was Alex, and he was attending UCSB. At the end of a party one night, he accepted a ride with someone who had been drinking. As they got onto the 154, heading back to IV, the car he was in crossed the double yellow line and was involved in a head on collision. He died instantly. The driver was recently sentenced to 5 years in prision. So many lives have been irrevocably damaged by this one PREVENTABLE incident.Alex really enjoyed concerts and had many friends involved in the vibrant local Santa Barbara music scene. His friends and I have been hard at work planning a concert and a fun night out downtown. We want this concert to bring our community together, promote local bands and live music and remind us all NOT to drink and drive. So many of us have been affected by drunk diving, either by DUIs, accidents or the loss of a loved one. There are so many options available, and so much our community can learn about drinking and driving. Our concert will highlight many of those alterntatives.Plan on joining us at SoHo Restuarant and Bar in Santa Barbara on Friday April 13, 2007!! There will be giveaways, free cab rides and discounts, games, music and more. Please add yourself to our site myspace.com/anotherwayhome and pass this email on to your friends and family! If you’re coming from out of town, let me know if you need accomodations. For more info, to get involved, or make donations please write me back at rampaige19@aim.comHope to see you there!!!!!!Love,Paige