Two Years

Last Tuesday, August 6 marked the two-year anniversary of our losing Alex.  Thank you to all his friends who called me and supported me over this time.  

I did spend 5 or 6 weeks this spring at our family cabin — and it really IS a cabin — in the redwoods recovering my ability to deal with my fellow human beings after a frustrating emotional roller coaster of a winter supporting Jessica’s appeal and re-sentencing in the face of a justice system that cares more about vengeance and “setting an example” than justice.  

While at the cabin I read all the sympathy cards sent to me at Alex’s passing, thanked each person and tossed each one into the fire.  One morning I had a cigarette, half a glass of wine and an ice cream cone for breakfast.  I stood on the deck looking out into the woods and sobbing, puffing on that cigarette and feeling such regret for Alex and his friends.  Such regret that he had to quit us and his life so soon.  I sat with Alex.  I waltzed with Alex on the wood cabin floor.  I smoked cigarettes with Alex.  We talked by the fire. 

Ironically, I just heard today that Jessica will be released from Chowchilla in mid-August.  What a week, non?  I am delighted to have good news in our lives!  Her mom will drive out from Colorado and pick her up.  She has to stay in Santa Barbara County during her parole.  

This chapter is finally over.  This horrible event that took Alex from us and ended Jessica’s life, as she knew it, is now over. It has been defeated.  We can all look forward now to creating positive outcomes for both Jessica and Alex.  Can’t explain it any better than that.

Love to all,

Susan

Alex’s Legacy . . . Liz and Gorby’s Wedding

Alex introduced his friend Liz Hughes to his friend Gorby Boyadzhyan a couple of years ago. This weekend, September 22, they were married.

Liz was like a sister to Alex. He had his own room in her 100-year-old Victorian flat in Santa Barbara. They ate together and, with Gorby and other friends, were a family.

Alex and Liz worked together a Devereaux with autistic 10 year olds. I remember Alex calling me one evening. He was in the van. Liz was driving, and I could hear the commotion of kids in the background.
“Mom! How ya’ doin’!? Yah, Liz and I are taking the kids to Chez Paris!”
“You mean Burger King?”
“How’d you know that’s where we’re going!!?”
“Alex, when you were 10, I would not have taken YOU to Chez Paris. I don’t think you’re going to be taking a passel of 10 year olds there!”
“Mom, I gotta’ go. They’re pulling Liz’s hair, and I think she’s crying!”

It was with Liz that he tested saying out loud that he was in love with Paige. It was Wednesday before Alex was killed. Liz was doing dishes in her large, wooden kitchen. Alex was Swiffering the floor.
“I think I’m in love with Paige,” he confided to Liz.
“You THINK you’re in love with her. I KNOW you’re in love with her.”

Liz and Gorby had their dogs in their wedding. Liz said it was Alex’s idea. He would say, “You two are getting married, and I’M walking the dogs down the aisle.”

So the dogs were in the wedding in honor of Alex. Paige walked them down the aisle.

Congratulations and much love to Liz and Gorby.

Thank You to Alex’s Friends

As the first anniversary ofAlex’s passing
Nears,
My thanks go out to
All Alex’s friends
For the love and friendship
You shared with
My son.
Love,
Susan

Photo from Allison

This is a photo of Allison, Ana and Alex with a little turtle of which Alex was fond. Should have brought a pair home for the pond, Buddy!