A Professional Speaks Out

Susan,I have stayed very interested in this case, both personally and professionally, since I wrote you on this blog last week. As I stated in my letter last week, I feel that having DUI offenders go through counseling, MADD meetings, visits to the morgue and A.A. meetings is so much more effective than just reading a newspaper account that “another 22 year old girl is facing 5 years in jail.”Off the top of my head, I don’t know if it was the prosecutor or one of the D.A.’s witnesses who said that “they have studies that show that only the threat of jail time deters DUI offenders,” but I have to disagree with that statement. We have 700 clients in my program in Los Angeles, and of those 700 clients, many will continue to drink and drive and some will get other DUI offenses, and hopefully none will kill anybody, but the point being that we bombard our clients with statistics, show them movies, counsel them about personal responsibility, yet as stated some will continue their dangerous behavior and some will get re-arrested for it. And they all have seen statistics about DUI killers who have gotten jail time.It is a tough field. We know we’re going to fail in some cases, but we make an attempt. We have to get real with our participants, we have to tell them that if they don’t change their behavior, they will continue to put themselves and others in danger, and we have to drill those thoughts in their head. It is the personal interaction they get from counselors and clients that makes a difference to these people. I could bring in a news paper article about Jessica or I could bring in a typed note from Jessica stating all the reasons why what she did was wrong, and how she made the wrong decision, and what she could’ve done to alter her behavior, and that letter from Jessica would have far more effect on deterring our participants than a news article that she’s doing 5 years for killing someone. They see that all the time. There are people across the U.S. who are killing people by drinking and driving and getting jail time, and yet the DUI arrests in California keep going up. We bring in those articles, we talk about those articles, but those articles and thereby the punishment written about in those articles isn’t preventing DUIs or preventing DUI deaths.It is the counseling and the interaction and the clients’ experiences they have as a DUI offender, as I said before, going through the process, going to our classes, and MADD meetings and the morgue and A.A. meetings, that is more of a deterrent than reading about a faceless statistic.Someone like Jessica could’ve added to that DUI offender experience, if she was able to tell her story, in a video, through lectures or on the page. She might’ve made a personal connection which might’ve made a more lasting impression, but instead she is relegated to be a number; 5 years for a DUI murder. Yes, she needed to be punished, but her punishment could’ve been so much more effective to help prevent someone else from doing what she did.We have to look at new ways to fight DUIs, and putting one more person away in jail isn’t going to help, just like the last person who was put away in jail before Jessica killed Alex didn’t stop Jessica from making a really poor decision.Susan, I agree with one of the writers above that you have a great perspective that can help in this battle, and hopefully you won’t stop your fight against drinking and drivingCharles MorrisDirector, DUI Program

Prison for Jessica: 5 Years and 4 Months

We just got back from SantaBarbara.The judge threw the book at Jessica. 5 years and 4 months in PRISON. It had nothing to do with either HER or the legal guidelines for sentencing. They just wanted “make an example” of her. So your child becomes an example, instead of a living, breathing human being.Her mother sobbed in my arms. They shackled her in front of her mother. Her mother cried, “Can’t I hug her? What’s happening? Are they taking her away? Jessica!! Can’t I tell her goodbye?”I heard the chains on the handcuffs and knew they were shackles. She was in front of us with her back to us. All I could see was the side of her face. She was completely white.I told her mother, “No. Just don’t look.” I tried to hold her to me. But she had to try to help her child.We have done a great injustice today. We have all lost today.Susan

From Ron in Lompoc: Isn’t it worth more to prevent than to punish?

I hope that you are the Susan Barich of whom I read about today in the LATimes. I want to commend you for your compassion towards the woman in whose car your son was killed. It must be extremely hard to go against everyone who says that to not enforce the law to its fullest is to encourage others to drink and drive. It is the same approach taken by those who think that the death penalty prevents murder. If these approaches to the control of human behavior actually worked, the Arab States would not still be cutting off hands and feet, people would no longer kill, rape, rob, sexually molest, or commit any of the acts we so detest. Revenge does not stop anything and it has been known that it does not bring closure.

As humans we are lazy. We always seem to have to be forced to do that which is in our own best interest. The technology has been around for years to keep an intoxicated person from driving and yet these devices are only installed as a last resort. They should be present on every vehicle. The reason they are not is varied. Auto manufacturers say it would cost too much and slow the sales of cars. They said the same thing about the seat belt and the air bag. People say it is a violation of their rights as if killing someone while driving intoxicated is not a violation of their right to live. And there is the ever present megalithic Alcohol Industry that realizes these devices would cut into the amount of profit they make. Last, but not least are the nay sayers who that people would just disable the devices and drive drunk anyway. Yes, just as there are people who manage to break every law and others who will make money off of providing a way to disable these devices. That is human nature. But isn’t it worth more to prevent than to punish?

It would please me to hear that you and the people who have contacted you in favor of your position had decided to work on legislation that would make the breathalyzers mandatory equipment on every vehicle. MADD is about revenge. See if you can convince them to help back you.

I am sorry for your loss. But it appears to me that you, unlike many others who have suffered like you, will turn this into something positive. It is people like you who give positive proof of the compassionate nature of our species and gives meaning to our existence.

Best regards,
Ron Ranft
Lompoc, Ca.

Cudos for Thousand Oaks High School! Thanks, Eric Smith

I am a 17 year old senior at Thousand Oaks High School.

Weeks ago, the juniors and seniors at TOHS participated in a program called “Every 15 Minutes”. It is designed to help teach teenagers about the dangers of driking and driving. Every 15 minutes (starting at 7:00 a.m. and going until 11:00 a.m.), a student was called out of class over the intercom, saying they had been “killed” by a drunk driver.

There was also a mock car accident in front of the school, in which a drunk driver hit a car with four TOHS students inside. I was the driver of the car that was struck, and was pronounced Dead On Arrival.

Everyone who participated in the program later shared their feelings at a retreat later that night. We couldn’t use out cell phones to talk to any of our friends/family. The next day, there was a mock funeral where we shared letters we had written to our families.

This experienced changed my life forever as my friends and I became much closer. Concerning Mrs. Barich’s issue about her son, I am on both sides of the fence. I believe the driver should be punished for her horrible mistake. But I also feel compassion for her. I believe that having her help encourage people not to drink and drive would help solve the problem rather than punishing her and causing more pain and anger.

From Eric Jung

Eric is a friend of ours from Bear Valley. He has some ideas to share.Dear Susan,I don’t blog and I couldn’t figure out how to sign in so I’m just sending you a few brief thoughts.Sweden has the right attitude. Swedes are raised to be horrified when someone even thinks about driving drunk. It started with a law, if I understand it correctly, so it was a top-down solution, rather than a grass-roots movement demanding the law. I favor such a top-down solution. In a country that actually was able to pass Prohibition for a while, it shouldn’t be so hard to pass a law that anyone caught driving drunk automatically loses their right to drive ever again and has their car impounded and sold to defray the costs of alcohol-related accidents. It has to be made absolutely unthinkable that anyone would ever consider driving drunk, so unthinkable that anyone acting like they’re about to do it is immediately treated like the worst kind of pariah, is knocked down by their friends and has their keys taken away, violently if necessary.Despite lip service to “Drink Responsibly”, we all know that, starting from junior high school, Americans consider it cool to get drunk. “Man, was I hammered last night, you shoulda seen me, haw haw haw.” I don’t believe that any education campaign will ever change this attitude. I think it will take legislation of the severest kind. Drive drunk, lose your driver’s license and your car. Forever. No appeal. We’ll start out with a growing army of non-drivers who have to depend on their friends and neighbors or public transportation to get to work. Taxi and bus companies will benefit. After a generation or so, people will grow up knowing that driving drunk is just not part of life, and the numbers of non-drivers will shrink.I like the Breath-O-Meter attached to the ignition. Someone on the Web will sell Beat the Breath-O-Meter kits, guaranteed, though.I could go on and on. I believe that the tendency to drink and even to be able to enjoy alcohol has a large genetic component. My family seems not to have the drunk gene. None of my blood relatives is particularly fond of alcohol. I have never seen either of my parents drunk. It’s been at least five years since I was legally drunk. I just don’t care. So I have little sympathy for people who consider getting drunk an essential or cool part of life. I know very few people whose company I enjoy more when they’re drunk – usually quite the opposite.Truly Yours,Eric JungSo, Eric, what would YOU recommend?SusanI think Jessica should have to do lots of community service divided into two parts.First, she should have to visit hospitals and the homes of people whose lives have been wrecked by drunk driving. She should be made to memorize statistics on the numbers of lives wrecked by drunk driving. Then she should have to go to high schools and make presentations including an account of her own experience, accounts of her visits with the wrecked, and a recitation of the statistics.Yes, loss of driving privileges is very serious. Some people would have to get a different job and maybe move to another town. It is the very seriousness of the thing that will make it effective in the long run. After we go through a generation or two of people who don’t get it until it happens to them, I would expect that society’s attitude will shift to make it a much rarer occurrence. The fact that it is more convenient to get around Sweden doesn’t change a thing for me. We’re too dependent on the automobile as it is. If these penalties for drunk driving are passed, it might be one small step toward better public transportation and better city planning to minimize the need for cars.EJI think your top-down concepts in tandem with education, advertising (Friends don’t let friends drive drunk), alcohol marketing (disposable breathalizers with every purchase) can go a long way in changing the culture.Eric:Thanks for your thoughts. At this point, we don’t even KNOW when we are illegal. I’ve started using the breathalizer I bought at Costco years ago and just put away. I just want to check out where I am in relation to the legal limits, and what .023 feels like versus .05. If we got into the habit of using these tools on a regular basis, we could begin to take responsibility for ourselves and our friends, which is where we really need to get to.Susan

Photo from Allison

This is a photo of Allison, Ana and Alex with a little turtle of which Alex was fond. Should have brought a pair home for the pond, Buddy!

Jail versus Prison

Just a point of clarification: jail and prison are two very different things. Several of Alex’s friends are sitting in judgment from a place of anger and are saying, now that they are older and wiser and no longer drink and drive or ride with someone who has been drinking, that Jessica deserves to sit in jail and ponder the errors of her ways.There are two incarceration options on the table: Time in county jail or years in state prison. I suggest you all do a little research on the difference. What we are advocating is to keep her out of the state prison system, a system which is so overcrowded people must sleep on the floors, and violent criminals are not separated from non-violent offenders. Women inside claim they are subject to sexual abuse by male guards, and guards are used as medical assistants. The only system in the country where men have this power over female prisoners. That’s what the women inside say. That’s my source.

From Rob (Check out www.FamilyThrive.com)

I have been reading Susan’s blog and percolating on my
response. Here is what I have to add, it is short and sweet
and hopefully useful for all.

Susan and Jessica,

I hope with all my heart that you transcend this horrible
experience. Know that the process of impacting lives has
already begun via the miraculous dialogue that you both have
taken on in sharing with the world.

My life and marriage has been dramatically impacted by the
actions and behavior Susan has shared with me. Learning to
forgive others even ourselves can be very difficult. Susan
has taught me the immense power and blessing of forgiveness.

On your darkest days know that you have taken part in
keeping a family together and thus impacting three lives
(Wife, Son, and I) and I am certain many more.

Thank you both for sharing and for your courage.

This Blog

Over the last week many of Alex’s friends have posted angry and accusatory comments on this blog. They were very disrespectful of our family and our broken hearts. They were offensive to me. They made me sad.

I suppose I had hoped for their support in creating new solutions for the horrible problem of drinking and driving in this country. But, as an older and wiser friend of mine wrote me, perhaps asking for their understanding was too much.

I know that I am stuggling to bring MY inner truth to bear and that I do not need anyone else’s approval to feel the way I do.

So I have removed most of their comments. The purpose of this blog is to promote healing and creative ideas of how to save lives in the future. Any comments posted here that are not in that spirit will be deleted posthaste.

Still,
Alex’s Mother

Med School Memory from Melanie

when i was in college as part of my psych obligation i participated in an experiment where several healthy college athletes were given a test…(you know those games where you have to hit the alligator when it pops up?) you had to hit a button to stimuli…we took a baseline, then we drank a beer in 20 minutes tested again, then another beer in 20 more minutes and tested again. we all felt a buzz and KNEW we were impaired…but most sobering was that after about 30 minutes the buzz was gone and we all felt okay and wanted to leave (drive home!) the professor made us test again and then insisted we stay another HOUR and eat and drink coke, lemonade etc…THE THIRD TEST when all felt sorta normal was THE WORST by far and he compared it to his 4 yr old sons – we were worse! my point being that first alcohol stimulates and then numbs – how come we don’t give all college students this type of test – it was impressive – or better yet a movie of it every driver has to watch – ofcourse i have also read that cell phones are the up and coming death/accident causer and beat out alcohol in some areas but that is another battle – also aspirin and or advil-type meds can DOUBLE your blood alcohol and yet there is no warning on the bottle about that !…hmmmm my thinking cap is on…m